Let go of that tightening hold on your partner who may be gasping for space in the relationship, and focus on strengthening yourself. Most marriages work when we don’t try to possess our partner, instead, give them space to grow. When we grow plants, space plays an important factor in its growth. Both the roots and foliage need room to grow. Remember even plants die or grow stunted if they are not given space to grow. The same philosophy applies to human relationships.
If you love someone, we must set them free. We need to give each other space so that we may both give and receive such beautiful things as ideas, openness, dignity, joy, healing, and inclusion. Relationships are about trust.
Love has no room for abuse, name calling, disrespect or ego. All this is associated with HATE. If your “love” has an opposite, then it is not love but a strong ego-need for boosting yourself. Self-pity is the worst possible emotion anyone can have, and it is the most destructive.
Stop blaming others, complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have, that everyone else is missing. Learn to find your happiness within you, because ultimately you are responsible for finding your bliss. Let us not depend on our partner or our children for our joy. Play sports or develop a hobby like writing, gardening, painting or singing.
Take a notebook, and please write every day what you are grateful for on a daily basis. Enjoy the little things that you have, because one day when you look back, you will realize they were BIG things. The big moments of your life will be the small nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.