When I was eighteen and newly married , I would wonder why people criticize more than compliment.
This was prevalent in villages in Kerala, and probably in other states too. Every time someone saw you after a long time they would greet you by saying “Oh! you have become fat.’ “You have become dark,” or “You have become fat and dark”. The only relief was they didn’t say I look “ugly.” And you are supposed to take it well and smile.
I would wonder for a moment, because I had learnt only to compliment. But I realized complimenting was evil according to them. You are casting eyes on them, and they believed something bad would happen. The evil eye is a type of magical curse. It is believed to cause harm, illness and even death. Babies are also susceptible to this evil eye.
I remember complimenting a pretty girl about her beautiful eyes. And someone gave me a dirty look. “Why don’t you understand that is not the done thing?” Later I realized this is not specific to human beings alone, even if you spoke about a cow or a plant, they believed the milk would dry up and the plant would die.
“Why did u say pretty and beautiful eyes to her?” they asked me one day. I looked at them innocently, because I couldn’t comprehend how when you make someone happy, you are cursing or hurting them.
“You have cast eyes on her.” I heard some ladies say. Instead you should have asked her, “Why do you look so frail?”
I would understand when this happened forty years back but when a friend recently told me that she says only negative things, as she is sacred to say something positive, I was taken aback. ” If I said something positive, it will all go wrong,” she said. While I believed in the law of attraction —we attract what we say and want. Whatever the mind can conceive it can achieve.
Imagine a world where everyone criticizes and says only negative things. I don’t think we can live in joy.
Some years back I had attended a one day’s workshop by the “Art of living” and they made us play a game. We stand in a circle and when the music starts, we go around and pay compliments to anyone who comes in our way. The more compliments we give, we receive that many and at the end of of this exercise we were all smiling. The atmosphere had changed to positivity and there was joy and peace around.