When You see death near…



One Sunday evening, my daughter and I decided to go to Bandra, for shopping. It was 5.30 in the evening. We caught a fast train, but suddenly the train halted before Bandra station. We waited patiently inside our compartment for half an hour, but the train did not move. Then we heard there was some problem with the rails, and they would take time to set it right.

However, we noticed some people jumping out of our compartment. We too jumped out and walked on the next track looking for an exit point. But after walking for some time, I realized there were no exit points and at one point the track went over a canal. It was frightening. We ran across the narrow track because of the fear a train would soon pass through.

Soon we heard the sound of the shrill whistle far away and the loud thud of the train. My  heart was beating rapidly. We knew we were between the devil and the deep sea. The trains were superfast and before we realize it would close on us. Either we jump into the canal, right into the dirty black water or go underneath the train. There was no escape.

The scary part was we couldn’t turn back to see where the train was. My daughter was behind me which made me feel uneasy. What if I jumped and she couldn’t? Hundred thoughts were racing in my mind but we needed the presence of mind at that  time. It was like closing our eyes and running the last lap of a race. We ran blindly trusting our instincts. We could not run too fast, if we missed a step we would fall into the deep canal.

At last we saw the platform on our left side and we heard the whistle of the train close to us. Just as we jumped out on to the platform, the train whizzed past. We were the last three on the track to jump onto the platform. My daughter was behind me and there was another lady behind her.

For some time we were numb with fear. We could not even move from there. After the ordeal we had no energy to shop so we caught another train and went back home. It was then I realized that no one wants to die. We will do anything to save ourselves. I was always fearless even of death. Probably when you get a second life your perspective changes.

Years later, in 2015 when I came to know I had Angina my doctors looked worried, not me. I knew I had crucial blocks and have to undergo By-pass, I thought I had given more than 101% in everything I did, and there was lot of happiness and harmony, in spite of all the ups and downs in life. I remember telling my friend, “I am not scared of death, I have lived a full life. I have done my best and my children will learn to manage without me.”

However, when I saw death near, the whole perspective changed. I saw my children and my family worried, my friends, dear ones, relatives, all showering love and best wishes and then I didn’t want to let go. I knew I was going to fight to survive. I agreed to even go through surgery the very next day.

The surgery was complicated but it was successful due to my awesome doctor and the prayers of all my dear ones and friends. Today I find life even more beautiful and worth living. I value every little thing even more. And want to spend my life with people who make me smile, laugh and feel loved.

Life is too short to waste our time on people who don’t respect, appreciate or value us. And life is intriguing, don’t give up on life. Always remember, “This too shall pass.” And move on. I am in love with life and hope.

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